Sunday, January 17, 2010
Hi Friends! Sometimes life deals us a rough hand once in awhile.
With me it's this multiple sclerosis. I had been taking the same medication for years actually and I started feeling like it might be better for me to go to a different neurologist to find out if there might be something new now. Something that (I know) can't cure, but with the knowledge in everything increasing by leaps and bounds, maybe there would be something for me. Something that might make me feel.....more alive?... More normal?
I went through a barrage of tests. I didn't like what the first neurologist said about the results of the tests and what my next decision about treatment should be, so I went to another neurologist.
More tests. There was a lot of hope given to what looked like a hopeless situation.
Next appointment. Test results were read. Previous hope taken away. Hopelessness returned.
I've been sick with M.S. for 15 years, but I'm not in a wheelchair! I walk with a limp, but I can walk! I'm not on death's door! I don't like to be made feeling that I have no hope!
They said I had taken all the drugs that are available for M.S. except one new one that has the side affect of irreversible brain retardation, or brain infection.
I absolutely told the doctor: "NO!" I said, "Let's say the medication stopped the progress of the disease, yet left me with irreversible brain damage. Why would I want to live any time on earth with my family or an institution taking care of me because I chose that path to prolong my life?"
Doctor told me that others don't think like that.
Well, I do. At this point, doctor said I had three choices, do nothing, take brain retardation medicine, or I could do clinical trials. Well, I shook doctor's hand, said thank you and left.
I drove away.
I went to the store and bought myself a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
(Then I went home and cried to the Lord I love.)
Since then, I've totally changed the way I was eating. You can call me a health food nut, whatever. Food was starting to make me feel worse. I'm only eating organic now.
I do feel better. I started reading a book called "Patient Heal Thyself" (by Dr.Jordan Rubin.)
I started eating what the Bible says we should eat. There's a lot of truth there.
I figure there might be something to the acronym: GIGO -garbage in, garbage out.
I don't want to let anymore garbage in.
Well, that's what's been going on with me. I don't mean to depress anyone, but you're my friends and you deserved to know what was going on. I feel like I'm in uncharted territories. I feel like I'm being forced to win a game and I don't even know the rules. I'll keep you up to date on how I'm doing.
I'll be alright. In God I Still Trust! Blessings!-Missygirl*
# posted by Missygirl : 6:55 PM
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